[[ 33 ]] Six Bullets. No Gun.

" Never... apologize for Love."

- Tivius, Somebody's Cowboy

Just some ramblings, tonight... 

• ONE: [[ A Samurai Causes the Butterfly Effect ]] 

I am aware that my beliefs affect other people’s reality. I don’t take my choices lightly, nor do I expect them to be without consequence.

My social responsibility toward others allows me to act responsibly, or irresponsibly. Regarding my decision to be in a poly-relationship, I believe I am acting socially responsibly – not because the rationales justify my own needs, but because I believe the rationales could benefit others in ways that emulate my positive experience. 

Even so, I’m not advocating my beliefs over others… merely that this model be considered. 

Just as with politics: the two party system serves a number of people just fine – 

- but many would prefer to have additional, more diverse options. 

A need for tradition is the mantra of people most likely to benefit from the status-quo. There are plenty of people who don't.. and they deserve to be treated with respect and acceptance, too.

I am an advocate of all people having positive, informed and reasonable options.

• TWO: [[ Truth ]] 

Care about the Truth requires a humility (an honesty assessment) which states:

I can be fooled and I can be wrong. There are things that I simply don’t know.

Those things require a fair and reasonable assessment, otherwise my opinion is little more than conjecture.  While I don’t need to be an expert on things that don’t greatly affect my life, those I care about, or my level of interest – I do have some responsibility as a caring person to at least be somewhat informed about those issues which are “important”.

That resolution need not change my opinion, but my opinion should allow for change if it is warranted.

• THREE: [[ Clarity = Iron Sights ]] 

If we’re thinking right, we form our beliefs of even unknowable things based upon where the evidence leads. Not upon the fact that one cannot disprove something that we wish to believe.

What some people do is put the belief out there – because it satisfies their emotional needs, then they look for justifications to validate that belief. That’s backwards.

Go where the evidence leads. 

Any argument for the improbabilities of a situation becomes considerably less viable when that situation is standing right in front of you. Even if you’re dealing with an exception, you should deal with the exception honestly – not the odds and rationales against it, figuratively. 

• FOUR: [[ Reason - Modus Operandi  ]]

Reason is a viable method by which a person may determine the difference between emotional perspectives vs. practical thought.

When we’re talking about rather or not something is moral, reasonable or real, your preference is irrelevant. 
If you care about the Truth at all, the abandonment of any need for it to meet your expectations is essential. 

• FIVE: [[ Outlaws and Heretics. ]] 

One of the things that makes me critical of zealotry in religion is it's willingness to turn people against their own family. As beings, we are inclined to have our own perspectives, complete with nuances in lifestyles and outlook. None of these things makes a person “evil” – just different. 
Even when people have coinciding faiths, the daily expression of that faith can vary greatly. There is no singular observance which all would agree to as being Correct, Right or Completely Good; to behave otherwise is to be dogmatic. 

Yet jingoism expresses religious perspectives as black-and-white fact, then proceeds to initiate conflict – paraded as acts of love, like a cattle-prod aimed in the face of people who need “guidance”.

This aggressive approach is not only conflicting to the core practices of most (peaceful) religions, but also to the values which unite a family: namely that we are all individuals, bound together by something greater than situation. To discard a family member over an ideological perspective is directly in conflict to family values, an affront to faith in the deity (who can handle it on his own, yes?), and general sensibility. A poor choice of technique: no one responds well to bullying! When you exile a family member, that's not God's practice- that's yours.

It is the poorest demonstration of ANY values, inevitably accompanied by a torrent of loss, wasted promise for future joyous occasions, and directly counterproductive to any hope for opportunities to teach an understanding of religious beliefs. 

Zealotry. Patriotism. Racism. Nationalism. Sexism. All enable Group A to claim to know what's best for Group B- while promoting division and derision. This invariably leads to incivility and oppression of the disenfranchised. Tyranny against the meek.

I will not be subjected to criminal abuse.

• SIX: [[   Father. Husband. Guardian. Son. ]] 

A man best proves his loyalty not through great acts of boldness, but through frequent and gentle acts of responsibility.

- C.D.

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[[ Cowboy Quotes ]] 

• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
• Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
• When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
• You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'til they get thumped.(Character shows up best when tested.)
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.

                                          

* Django Unchained: Official Website

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Last... I know it doesn't follow the theme above, but this video (watch below) bears relevance to the messages. Not specifically... but in ways subtle and hopeful. 

* Listen carefully and you may hear some ideas which mean something to you!   ^__^ 

Cloud Atlas remains one of my favorite movies of the past decade, and I thought this dedication was sweet, well-executed and gracious. 

Enjoy. Please do.

- Charles

That was where my dream began to take hold, of not havin' to pick cotton and potatoes, and not havin' to be uncomfortable, too hot or too cold. That in itself had driven me to try to find some better way of life. - Buck Owens

Thank you, my l.l.o. 

[[ 32 ]] Your Words

[[ THIS POST IS ENCODED. ONLY ONE PERSON WILL TRULY UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS. I HOPE IT'S YOU. ]] 




Be mindful of not just your message

but how you're saying it.

There are a lot of ways to express care, empathy, guidance and love.


Some of them are much better than others.

- C.D.

It can't be what it was. Now, it will have to be something different. 

Don't give up. 

[[ 31 ]] Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Worth sharing.   ( Please read and note the bonus at the end! )

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

by: Bronnie Ware, from: AARP, February 1, 2012  

Link: Click Here for the full article.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they’d made, or not made.

It’s important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. It’s too late once you lose your health. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks, and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called “comfort” of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. 

How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”  - Martha Washington

And last, the image below.  This was me - last Friday at work.

If you read the previous post, you know the relevance... 

Love you, son.  

No regrets,

-Dad.

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[[[[     Click here to visit the Archives!  Thank you. ^__^      ]]]]

[[ 30 ]] MLP

** This post is about accepting others with different ideas. In the poly community, condemnation is something we all have to contend with... sometimes in deeply personal ways. It's easy to have a philosophy of Acceptance, but when something strikes close to home -- anyone can find themselves challenged. ** 

My youngest son loves the new My Little Pony show.  He's 14.

Tall.  Handsome.
And I don't think he's gay. If he is.. that's fine. But I've seen him operate around girls: dude's totally slick.

But it's true... he's a "Brony".  That's what they call big boys who like My Little Pony.  It's a mark of pride, except when delivered with a sneer from those snide kids.... you know - the one's who are too cool for everything?
The ones who are all about putting others down for not being as rich.. or popular... or athletic... whatever.

I didn't understand it at first. So I did my best to be a good dad: I sat down and watched a few episodes of the new show. Admittedly, it's decent. It's certainly more clever and innovative than that show was when I was a kid. As a kid growing up in the 80's, I could have cared less about ponies.
I was into Voltron and G-Force, Robotech and Speed Racer.  Boy shows.
Batman and any superhero, really.  Star Trek, Space 1999, Star Wars.  Anything sci-fi.

But both of my sons dig "MLP".  To be clear, they also love HALO and CALL OF DUTY --- both of which they are brilliant at. Those are war games. Violent, fast moving shooting games. These appeal to men at the core level, and I've seen my boys employ strategies that would make a Navy Seal proud. They're usually the leaders of their clans, too.  Fierce and respected by their peers.

But currently... my youngest son's clan... is called the "Bronies".  Or something like that. And if you meet them in a game of COD -- they're likely to embarrass you.

Even so-
 ... when this was all first coming to my attention I was unsure of what it meant.
I didn't understand. Is this a "man issue"? Hey... I'm a big, broad shouldered lunk... with the kind of mug that makes people cross the street or look busy. So at first, it was a little tough for me to think of my son as being a devotee of a show that is not only devoted to children half his age...
         ...but also -- to little girls. 

Yet it was clear from the first few times that he saw the show, that he was going to be a fan. And after a while, it became evident that he is a superfan. He has ponies on t-shirts, stickers on his schoolbooks and he even draws them. Quite well, too!

It didn't take long for the obvious to set in: he **REALLY** loves that damned show!
So I did what any good father would do -
                                     - I chose to accept this, because I really love him.

I can't say I understand. Whenever the theme music comes on for the show, I demand that he put on headphones - lest I grit my teeth till they crack. But a moment later, when I turn back around and see him... eyes aglow and smiling at the antics onscreen... I know that it's ok.

Whatever it is.
It's ok.

And if anybody EVER tries to humiliate my son because he likes something tender, different and just a little odd...
        I will rush in on them like a hurricane-o'-bricks and 
              smash, smash, SMAAASH! their #$*&ing bones to dust.

Because I'm the proud father of a Brony.

-C.D.

Being True is what makes a Brony... a hero.

“Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it.”  - C. Joy Bell

"Always be yourself.  Express yourself. Have faith in yourself.  Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. " - Bruce Lee

A brief amendment:

You know… its one of those things: prejudices can lurk in evasive ways, until a situation reveals it for what it is. When a thing strikes close to home, your human frailty can override your sensibility… even if that dynamic is only subconsciously applied. It can be sneaky.

I just didn’t understand the Brony thing. It caught me in a blind spot – and although I never said a thing to my son about it, I found myself quietly wishing he’d like something else. The reasons why were purely misogynistic .. but not overtly so to me. I literally found myself walking into that trap of: What if he gets beat up at school?  and other nonsensical clichés like that.

So I sat down, got online and did some research. 

Keep in mind, this epiphany took only about 2-3 weeks to surface: it’s not like this was a deep-seated thing. I just needed to examine what I was projecting, vs. what was actually taking place. My love for my son is HUGE to me… as is my love of other human beings and their right to personal happiness. 

The article came about because I recognized that although I’d never said a thing negative about the show, it was possible that I was subconsciously displaying my negativity. My son had tried to pull me into the show with him, and although I watched a few episodes – I was reluctant.  Having now accepted it, I wanted to address any possibility that my actions had made him feel conflicted or discouraged. This isn’t like he chopped down a cherry tree…  ; )  

So I wrote the article, somewhat glibly, but as honestly as I could – realizing that posting it publicly would be due penance.  And then, of course – I showed him that I had done so.  When he read it… he broke out in this tremendous smile, and threw his arms around me, saying “Thanks Dad. Thank you for supporting me!”

We talked about it for a few minutes. He was fine, of course. I’m the one who needed to grow from this.. lol!   

But… that was my point, yes?

Anyhow… thanks for taking the time to read this anecdote! I hope the story was entertaining and insightful.

-C.D. 

[[ 29 ]] ARCHIVE - One.

While I love using Blogspot, I'm not a fan of how they choose to display archived posts. The archive tool (to the right side of this page) is bland, confusing and ultimately - doesn't encourage readers to explore previous articles. Below, I'll do my best to compensate by listing each of of my previous posts, along with a short blurb describing the contents.

BLOG LIST/ARCHIVES.  (Click on the name of the article to view that page.) 
[[ 01 ]] The Science of Why: Why I chose to create this blog.
[[ 02 ]] History Lesson: Why old arguments are no excuse for bigotry.
[[ 03 ]] My Prototype Heart: A love letter to Rika, expressing the specs on my heart.
[[ 04 ]] A MESSAGE TO MY PARENTS: They abandoned me after I chose to love More.
[[ 05 ]] Refusing the Soap: We The People are being lied to. Think about it.

[[ 06 ]]  The Time Traveller's Equation: Revising perspectives about the concept of Time.
[[ 07 ]] THE PERIODIC TABLE: The people that form the basis of my Universe.
[[ 08 ]] Epic Wins: A playful peek at the amazing capabilities of the Human spirit!
[[ 09 ]] Open: The day I met Rika's father. His love was greater than my fear of rejection.
[[ 10 ]] Malala: One day I hope to be as strong as this little girl.

-- 11, 12, 13 --  
Blogspot displays these post stacked, one above another - because I posted them on the same day. Click here to view all three postings.

(( 11 )) Google vs The New World Order:  Governments seek control of the internet.
(( 12 )) Letters - One: A series of emails, exchanged between myself, Marie and Rika.
(( 13 )) Did ANONYMOUS stop the rigging of the 2012 election?  Check it out...
[[ 14 ]] No bigamy prosecution for the Sister Wives family:  Good. They aren't criminals.
[[ 15 ]] Four Chords: A musical demonstration of how Everything is Connected!

[[ 16 ]] Open - pt II:  Marie goes to meet Rika's father with wonderful results!
[[ 17 ]]  Legacy: Family legacies & one woman's story of being disinherited.
-- 18, 19 -- (stacked on the same page) --> Click here to view both postings.
(( 18 )) Tensile Strength: Relationships can only take so much stress before breaking.
(( 19 )) A Balanced Equation: 1 + X = 1? Love means two people become one?
[[ 20 ]] The 2012 Enigma: Explore UFOs, the Illuminati & many other spooky things.

[[ 21 ]] Nopocolypse:  The End gets delayed. Again.
[[ 22 ]] Tired of Evil: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!
[[ 23 ]] Hallelujah: Grateful sentiments from a non-religious, but highly spiritual man.
[[ 24 ]] Introducing Rika the Magnanimous: Rika's blog! My resolution to be Better +1.
[[ 25 ]] Shame: The latest on Malala & how zealots want to kill this little girl.

[[ 26 ]] This Charming Man: I love romantic movies. Not "chick-flicks" but the real thing.
[[ 27 ]] Ten Things You Might Not Know About Love:  Love isn't just an emotion.
[[ 28 ]] Cohabitate: Our differences are a perspective. Don't let them keep you from love.

-[[ Postings Quick Reference]]: https://plus.google.com/113993022375114242223/posts

-[[ About Me ]]: https://plus.google.com/113993022375114242223/about

-[[ Photo Albums]]: Be sure to read the captions! (Click a pic...)
https://plus.google.com/113993022375114242223/photos

I hope you find themes of interest, guidance and inspiration in the things that I share. To me - these aren't just words. They're documentation on the insights of my life, preserved. From where I was then, to where you are now. Time Passages. 

Thank you for visiting my pages.

Sincerely,
- Charles Dashing, The Scientist