[[ 62 ]] Seven Poly Questions: An Interview with Marie

A Short Interview with Marie: 

  

While Rika has been living with us for over three years now, I've been married to Marie for nearly 24 years. We were both serving in the Army at Ft Hood, when our eyes met one night while I was buying a soda out of a Coke machine. Yep! I had no idea how that singular, magical beverage would forever change my life, but Marie has been the terra firma which holds my world together. Our union granted us three beautiful children, and the experience has seen us through both hearty and lean times. We're still in love.

I depicted her as the videogame character Cooking Mama in this post because to me, that's who she looks like! She loves being silly and mischievous, but tends to be notoriously blunt in most day-to-day dealings.
(You'll see some of this in her answers below. Be warned!) Unlike Rika and I, who constantly probe and question everything, Marie accepts the relationship with confidence and doesn't feel inclined to talk... and talk... and talk...   lol.  But I asked her if she would reply to seven written questions about her outlook on this life, and she agreed to do so.

We both agreed that there was no point to sharing her thoughts if this was just going to be some glittery fluff piece, so below - I tried to ask some pretty tough questions! Some are the rather pointed things that people probably speculate about behind our backs. That's okay - Life is full of chances to learn, and questions don't hurt people (unless they have lousy answers and are 'mentally injured' by mere inspection).

All of the answers below are in her words. No changes have been made.

Please enjoy a short visit with this person who has made all the difference to me!

Cheers,
-C.D.

  

SEVEN WRITTEN QUESTIONS:

1. This is the first time you’ve publicly stepped forth for the readers. Why?

My partners have been writing for awhile now and I wanted to make sure that everyone knows that I am happy in this relationship. I really love the life that I have chosen! I generally don’t enjoy writing, though. I would rather cook, exercise, play a video game, or hang out and talk. 
I am not interested in explaining to people why I have made the choices I have made. This is my life and it’s really no one’s business. However, I definitely don’t want anyone thinking that I am secretly seething. This would be the furthest thing from the truth. This is the best time in my life and I love my life mates and family!!


2. We’ve seen some posts where Rika and Charles mentioned you. 
(Examples below)

* The Best Girlfriend Ever
* The Value of More
* The Wedding Post  -- Note: I chose this one because it does a great job of explaining Us. - C.D.

----- What is it you would like their readers to know about you?

I am a professional nurse, a wife, mother, grandmother, best friend, sister wife, healer, a makeshift nutritionist, Vegan, trip planner, organizer, family comedian, and occasional gamer. 
I love my family and only want what is best for everyone.   



3. What’s it like opening your relationship of 20+ years, your family and your household to another woman?  What are the benefits and pitfalls you see?

Let me start by saying that Rika is not just 'another woman'. We didn't pick her up at the Woman Mart and bring her home like a pet. CD carefully vetted Rika before we considered her. This took hundreds of emails, several dates, both of us meeting her in person, and even all of us going on vacation together. After a lot of examination and discussion, we realized that she had the right personality to be part of our team. In retrospect, it's like she was meant to be here. 

Opening up our relationship was something that Charles and I had talked about from the beginning of our marriage. But we're not swingers - nor is any of this about sex, just about being able to see the practical application of love, multiplied. I think we were poly well before the term was even known to us! 

At first, it was a little hard. There was some trouble with jealousy. But, we talk everything out.....(sometimes WAY TOO MUCH talk if you ask me! lol!)  This family is very much about being accountable and working things out for the betterment of all. There are so many benefits to having a sister wife. Now, I genuinely accept her as a second wife to CD and my best friend. Rika is very loving and caring to the entire family. Our children all love her and have a special bond. I respect her opinion and love that she is willing to butt heads with me if she disagrees. This family encourages each member to express themselves and their personality in a loving, positive way. 
This is the source of our strength.    

4. Was this poly-family lifestyle something you wanted – for yourself, or more for Charles?  Why?  Wasn't your marriage enough? 

Actually, this was something that I wanted. Our marriage is wonderful!! I could not have asked for a better husband. He is romantic, kind, passionate, talented, a great father, an awesome lover, and is very intellectual. However, he is not a woman and I wanted a close relationship with a woman. Rika and I are as close as two heterosexual women can be. 

I love having a wife, sister, and best friend all rolled up in one! Charles is an intense life partner who has demonstrated that he can handle the responsibility of keeping two partners satisfied, so having another person here to talk to and to share him with works out perfectly for me. There is always someone to go out with or just chill at home with. This is a great dynamic for us. 'More' is exactly that….there is More time, More girl-talk, More things to do, and More friendship.
That also means more free time for Charles and I. By sharing, I have received More love.

    

5. We understand that this relationship has been met with some negativity from parents. Can you tell us your feelings about that?

I think it's a bunch of bullshit! We brought someone into our life because we wanted more and had more to give. This has nothing to do with them! She is a wonderful person and has added so much to our lives and our children. That's not something people should be afraid to understand, even if they don't agree. 
We aren't trying to make them poly, we just want to be treated fairly. It's not like we are going to make out in front of them or have sex in their living room. It’s really small of anyone to think that adults in any kind of relationship would act like that. 

We just want to be able to have a relationship with them. It's hypocritical for them to act like we are lepers because we chose to share our love with another person. Would they react the same if we adopted a child? It's ridiculous to treat anyone you claim to love with such hatred and strangeness. The blogs are meant to help heal the relationships which have been damaged. I hope they can find it in their hearts to reconsider their actions and accept the fact that love for your children isn't about your own personal preferences. 

6. Are you happy?  How do you know you’re happy, and not just deluding yourself?

I am happy!! I know I am happy because I always look forward to going home after work. The home that we have is filled with this love and laughter. Since Rika has arrived I have laughed more than I ever thought possible! Don’t get me wrong, Charles and myself laugh often and have our own inside jokes from being happily married for so long. But there is something infectious about women laughing together and I try to make her laugh as often as possible! 
I have so many things to be happy about! When I see Rika helping our son with homework or when she and CD are hugging each other; I feel compersion. My heart is full of joy!! I have never felt so close to another woman in my life. She is truly wonderful!!  



7. What do you want for your future and the future of your family?

I want more grandchildren!  And for us all to grow old together. Hopefully, Rika’s and CD’s parents will rejoin in our life, rather than continuing to embrace doubt and negativity. We would love to share our stories with them too. We are in this with Rika; she is one of us, in it for life!!! We are even considering adding a 4th to our relationship, for roller coaster rides, lol. There is so much love here, that I feel confident that we could embrace another into our fold. I look forward to growing old with Rika and Charles. They are my best friends!! 

~ Marie*



                    

And that's it!
Later, Rika and I plan to interview other family members, including the kids. In the end however, these stories aren't really that special?  People are just people - set against different circumstances. To us, these interviews are no more relevant than asking a person in a monogamous/traditional relationship about their feelings. However, we understand that our situation is the one which is different, so we hope that by allowing some insight into our world view, we present opportunities for meaningful discussion and positivity.
That is always our agenda: More Love Creates A Better World.

Sincerely,
Charles


Marie chose this video to share with you! 
Eurythmics - There Must Be An Angel

No one on earth could feel like this
I´m thrown and overblown with bliss
There must be an angel
Playing with my heart
And when I think that I´m alone
It seems there´s more of us at home
It´s a multitude of angels!
And they are playing with my heart~