[[ 91 ]] Coming Out

When Marie and I came out to my parents about our polyamorous relationship with Rika, they reacted horribly. Granted, it was completely new to them. But it was completely new to us as well - and having never faced such a situation before, the interaction was rife with flaws and confusion on all sides.
I wish I could take it back.

But I can't.

Just as I can't take back things that I did in the 5th grade. Or how my parents can't 'replace' the fact that I grew up in a household that didn't show affection. See....that's the thing about Life: there aren't do-overs. You have to figure it out as you go. In most cases, people are just doing the best they can to make it, even if they're stumbling.
This is never more true than when applied to parents and kids; it isn't always reasonable to think that your family is doing things to you - when more likely, they're doing things because of themselves.
So you should expect mistakes and missteps. You make them?  Others do too.

Attachment conflicts give us the opportunity to consider complex relationship issues and grow. 
When we can't, the results are painful. They should be.

Sadly, my folks couldn't make the leap. They just couldn't find a reason to grow.
We don't speak anymore... 

But we did. Marie, Rika and I.
Over the past six years, we have become much better at knowing how to come out in a way that is more compassionate, understanding and patient with others. Our intent is not to 'convert' them, but to reveal ourselves.

Carefully, yes. But honestly - because no one should have to hide the truth about Love.

- C.D.

*For more from the insightful TheraminTrees - please click here.

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What is the truth about Love, you ask? Ah.  Well, to me - it's this: 

Everything you've ever had, everyone you've ever cared about -- none of it was ever really yours. 

It was just being shared with you all along. 

Time and Circumstance gave it to you. Time and Circumstance will take it away, too. Better off learning to attract, rather than defend what you want. Better off looking to give love, not secure it. 

If that makes you feel threatened and tighten your fists, you will have less in life.

But if you are gracious and smart about it, you can have More. You can give More too. 

--- and that's the real point: 

If we all just gave a little More... there would be enough for everyone.