[[ 59 ]] RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Alright. So... 

Being an Atheist doesn’t include

·         Any assessment of your intelligence or the assertion that you can reason well

·         Any proof that you are morally or ethically superior to anyone else

·         Any rationale that you should wear the title “Atheist” as some weird "Badge of Pride"

·         Any authority which allows you to conclude that there is no god. Only - that *you* don’t believe there is.

Don’t ride the high horse. It doesn’t take any intellectual or moral fortitude to not believe in things. 

Being a Theist doesn’t include

·         Confirmation that you are automatically bound for any version of Heaven

·         Confirmation that you are morally or ethically superior to anyone

·         That you have the only and fully correct perspective regarding the design of all creation

·         That you are in any way beyond reproach of error, vanity, aggression or downright dogmatic maliciousness in God's name

Your faith is an expression of what you believe. How you *live* is an entirely different matter?

I don't know how many times I've met someone claiming to walk in faith, only to see them casting stones with every step. 

I don't care which side of the argument you're on -- - you're Human.  By nature, you can be wrong. Personal integrity and a duty to your beliefs, pro or con, would require that you constantly review that possibility.

Projecting negative traits at one another is intellectually dishonest and morally contaminated. 

It is a trait of failure, utilized by people who lack a love for truth or a deep conviction in their own argument – and thus, need to fight dirty.

 

Likely, each perspective contains positive intentions, ethical designs and the genuine desire to see right done by all. And why not? It's not uncommon to find that those who irk you the most, have traits similar to your own. Sometimes those traits are good. Sometimes... that's not the case. 
Don't hide your face from that truth.

Living an examined life means that you should be able to discuss those details as well as your differences – and be curious when someone challenges you, not angry or aggressive. 
Test your understanding of your own ideas. See if they stand up to examination. 

An opponent can only cut you if he finds a weakness in your armor. That could indicate that you need to go back and resume your training, or at least consider the merits of the other guy's sharpness.

Without fairness expressed toward those with opposing ideas, any of us would betray the opportunity to see what angles we have left wide open and blind. You forfeit any hope of earning respect or converting one another (if that is your goal). 

And your imaginary 'war of nobility'? Your own actions can reduce your presentation to mere backyard brawling or gossipy catcalling. 

As I do not believe anyone approaches such matters believing him or herself to be a hooligan, it would be forthright to abide by the practices which speak most highly of those like you, Theist and Atheist. Carrying yourself with honor and representing your clan isn't about smearing the other guy's good name.... but conducting yourself like a warrior.

In the end, you are not fighting flesh and blood - but ideas. 

Ways of behavior. Perspectives and Actions. 

To make war against a man who does not strike at you is to show the tyranny of fear. 

Even a Ronin knows that your strength is not measured in the self-proclaimed glimmer of your sword, but by how reluctant you are to draw it from the scabbard. 

- C.D. 

• The code of Bushido - as interpreted by Christians: http://www.christianjujitsu.com/Code_of_Bushido/Code_of_Bushido.html
• The code, by my own loose interpretation: http://testlifeblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/33-six-bullets-no-gun.html

[[ 58 ]] SMART GIRLS FTW

Okay…  so I’ve been thinking about my perspectives regarding women. Not only because I'm actually trying to enlighten my inner idiot, but also because I like thinking about girls. It beats pondering the merits of long division. Not that I have a beef with long division... if that's your thing, rock on. It's just that my mind's not that linear, so it functions like a popcorn machine – full of fried chicken. Fried chicken makes me think of breasts and legs... and eventually we're back on the subject of women again. 

( Damn you, subconscious! I see what you did there... )

In my awkward youthfulness – I was admittedly so nervous and wobbly that if a girl just SPOKE to me, I spent the next six weeks dreaming of kissing her. I had one type of girl that I liked: Available. 

Alas, she and I never got together -- in middle school, I was a nerdy fella. 

Virtually overnight however, my gawky Star Trek body developed into a FREIGHT TRAIN OF MASCULINE PHYSIOLOGY.  Mmhmm. 

Ok… maybe that's overselling it a bit. 

But ...I really did grow some seriously broad shoulders, a handsome scowl and better sense of self. 

Even so – it took some time for my taste in women to catch up.

These days, my immune system is much more resistant to Anything in a Tight Skirt syndrome. Long gone are the years when all it took was a bit of exposed skin to make my pulse race and my stomach knot. Why, with my SUPER ADVANCED BRAIN I've come to realize that even if a woman has some robust parts and pieces – I'm compelled to see her as a whole human being, instead of a menu. That feels pretty good! I’m glad to have evolved a little. All that knuckle-dragging kept my hands dirty, know what I mean?

But … I’ll admit to this one kryptonite that just…  keeps ...doing... that thing to me. 

You know what I’m talking about fellas --- when you feel like a schoolboy who just got seated on the bus next to your #1 crush. Yeah. That.

My poison du jour?  Smart Girls.

  

   

Ever see those old episodes of the Addams Family, where the mom would get all gaga if her mustachioed husband started speaking faux-French?  Well, that’s how I feel when I see a woman talking about molecular biology or recombining nucleic acids. The adrenaline rush of Fight or Flight kicks in. I say flight – because I’m well aware that my manfactured vocabulary-magic will not last long against the Gamma-ray scanning that her actual knowledge and common sense provides. 
Hey -- at heart, I’m an Xbox kinda guy. So the lab coat wearing bio-scientist is going to notice my slack-jawed gaze as I nod along like a six year old watching a kite.

I guess I view smart women as ideal companions. Capable and Confident: she’s more than a mere pin-up plaything could ever hope to be. She's every bit a lady, yet she need not succumb to using her gender as a social crutch: she can compete. She can be her own Knight in Shining Armor. My self-confidence isn't threatened, but enhanced by such company. It's the same if you hang around any capable person really -- -  but when I think about some of the handicaps women have to overcome, a girl who is openly comfortable with her intelligence is honestly a bit brave for doing so. Not everyone is receptive to that type of thing. Women can be their own worst enemies, too. 

While it’s no requirement, I wonder if a lot of professional women are tempted to abandon the media-induced neurosis of the latest lipstick fashions in order to be taken seriously? 

Doesn't matter - I get it. And I'm still 'auto-charmed'. 

Then there’s the graying hair --- oh man, did somebody spike my drink?

She’s talking about How Stuff Works and all I can do is watch her lips move. 

If she's invested her years well, she knows herself.  That's super-attractive in my book!  

  

OF COURSE, ALL OF THIS IS RIDICULOUS – I know.  Just more of the same misogynistic nonsense; retro-fit romantics designed to placate my marginally more mature perspective in life.  Yeah, I’m a smarter ape these days… big deal. I understand that 'appreciating' smart women is about respect, not my own desires. 

Cannibalizing people for their brains is a passion for zombies, mad-scientists and geek fetishes. 

Even so, that prehensile smile wags all over my face as I dream of lady-astronauts and white-coated lab technicians. I imagine myself speaking eloquent multi-syllabic words in return for her company, swaggering as I pepper in hipster phrases that I picked up from the latest Burger King commercial. 

It’s social evolution.  As women socially evolved, I became more Human too, right?  Hm. 

Anyhow – to women out there everywhere:  while the reality of the glass ceiling still exists, things are slowly changing. Please keep proving your resilience to a world which has never understood or treated you fairly. The phrase: Be Yourself doesn’t mean you need keep subscribing to the same sexy cheerleaders and hot nurse fantasies that we men have created in your image. Don't wait for men to liberate you - Liberate Yourself.    

Sure, long legs will always have an appeal... we are all sexual beings. But never let anyone fool you into thinking that your passionate desire to design aerodynamic airfoils isn't valuable, feminine or just downright sensual at times. 

Smart Girls for the Win.

- C.D.

*Of Note:  The author is happily married to two BRILLIANT women and isn't looking for a hook-up or a trade-in. He’s just blathering on about the nonsense which races through his mind like Hot Wheels on those bright orange plastic tracks.

  

If you were entertained, Thank You! If you’re offended, well….. so am I?  I thought I’d outgrow this way of thinking one day. Yet, somehow a part of me is hoping that learning to be a better man still allows for such embellishment to my imagination, curiosity, and odd sense of validated beauty.

I have no dress except the one I wear every day. If you are going to be kind enough to give me one, please let it be practical and dark so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie 

[[ 57 ]] Odds Are - We're Gonna' Be Alright

Things are going really well for Marie, 'Rika and I lately!
It's been a good year, and the last few weeks have been particularly cheery and positive! I'm loving our life, and the girls indicate that they feel the same way. We're living kindly, and growing every day.

While I was out doing errands on this sunny morning, I felt particularly connected and compassionate to the faces around me. Ever notice how some people just seem happy? They're walking around laughing and being easy in their gait. They make small talk or nod as you pass by, and when their eyes meet yours - they smile! That's manna! Nice. Way to go Humans! Some of you have turned out to be pretty sunny beings, even on those days when it's raining!


Yet.... not everyone is that way. There are those who wear their worry in their scowl. Those people who just seem so DAMNED mad to be at the grocery store, or so impatient and bristling as they bustle about as if no one else matters.
At first, I found myself wondering - what kind of person walks around feeling so tense and angry all the time? Who wants to have a constant chip on their shoulder, always ready to joust every windmill?
Keeping these unhappy people at arm's length make sense, and it's so tempting to act on that perspective - just disconnecting yourself from their miserable ways. Why not? They fail at Life, right? 

But then I turn it around, thinking .. I don't know what that guy right there is going through. And I can't be sure that the lady who didn't speak to me at the gas station isn't afraid or sad or ...just having a horrible day. That's right. In fact, you don't know who just lost a friend, lost a job or said goodbye to a loved one for the last time.
Suffering is generally silent, but often - visible. Yet when we see it made manifest in a negative way, we simply declare the person to be a jerk, unsympathetic to the unseen downpour that may be drowning them.


Compassion for people who act and smile like you is so easy to connect to. 
But....   true love is demonstrated when you find your empathy going out to those who don't share your disposition. True strength, also. Hey -- it takes a lot of character to show patience for someone who would cast stones at you. Still, it's the right thing to do. Empathy is important. But it's not enough to just think empathetic thoughts...
The truth of our measure is best demonstrated in what we do, not what we talk about (and expect from others). And really - it doesn't take some monumental action or a donation of cash to make a difference. Just offering a forgiving smile, or letting someone pass you in traffic can be a form of charity.

Your life is an amazing story, so full of the potential for fantastic demonstrations of all these really excellent concepts. Don't let fear, insecurity, anger and all that other negative nonsense stop you from delivering excellence in character! The opportunities each of us are given so desperately want us to be bigger than that.

So....  Be cool to yourself. Seriously.
And when possible, be cool to others that you meet - especially those who don't have it like you do.

People need Love, not lectures.
They need relief, not regulation.
Everybody needs a little surprise kindness. 
It changes things. 



We're all in this Together.  And odds are that we will probably be alright.

Big Up,
-C.D.

RIKA'S BLOG: (Please visit! She's WAY cool!):  Rika's Choice

PS:  Yes... there is sorrow and a lot of pain in the world. By all means - address the things that matter. But do not dwell on them to the point where darkness is all you see in the world, or all that you can speak of.
You cannot plant a garden just by removing rocks from the soil.
You have to contribute something which can grow.

There is so much more to discover...
           There is so much more to share...
                    So much to enjoy and learn from.