[[ 45 ]] WHY YOU MAD, BRO?

The opposite of anger is not calmness, it's empathy.
- Mehmet Oz 

Releasing your anger does not somehow make you calmer. That’s a myth. While it is good to discuss your feelings, what’s been shown is that anger only begets more anger.

Rage rarely resolves anything, other than allowing one side to cowl another. Hardly an optimal win.

However there are times and moments when anger is important, if not absolutely necessary. Constructive anger – which is followed by reasonable action, is a valid way of creating the changes you feel are necessary in the world. If you’re inspired by your anger to do something better, it’s healthy. If your anger comes out of compassion, not a desire to force your beliefs on others, your anger is likely reasonable and justified.

And be aware, any social movement which has succeeded was often driven by a great deal of anger;  religious freedoms, civil rights, women’s suffrage, same sex rights, etc.  

But without careful direction, anger is a flood which drowns out reason, growth and even hope. A fire which can consume health, unity and love. Who would choose to drink or pour such a poison? Especially with someone they claim to love? 

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about anger, and how to properly understand it in my own life. 

At this time and phase, here's where I stand on the subject:     

1. Compartmentalize the fact that other people don't owe you anything. Keep your feelings separate from any true expectation of other people to behave civilly. Don’t look for them to be friends, mentors or allies. Create those relationships with the people who nurture such things. 
2. In any dealing with angry people, expect the standards that you routinely receive when dealing with them. If they are reluctant, expect them to continue to be so. If they are reckless, expect that they will continue such behavior. This is not your concern; your duty is to be a better version of you. In any situation, that is the best thing you can contribute to a lasting solution. 
3. You can't tell people anything. Better to communicate quietly and without conflict, as this is subversive to negative energy patterns. To be clear: sensible people argue too, but Negative Entities feed on conflict, separation and cruelty as a means of maintaining their sense of indignation. They aren't interested in mutual respect, or reasonable discourse. Expect them to avoid your interest in healing or rational empathy. 
4. Recognize that you are not looking to 'save' everyone (saving alligators by placing them in a lifeboat full of swans becomes destructive) – you are only looking to reach out to those who are already attempting to do the same with you.
5. Negative people are often feeling upset, misunderstood, sad and even worried. They're not inhuman; they're just misguided in how they approach those feelings. Respect and appreciate even that, for everyone is hurting in some way. Everyone. Additionally, in some belief systems it is possible that these personalities have been placed in your life so that you have an opportunity to grow. It is not unreasonable to consider that they are fulfilling their Divine directive too.  
6. Being emotionally vulnerable to people who are emotionally irresponsible = bad policy. That's like lending your car keys to a known drunk. Even if he's your best friend, it's likely to end poorly. Conflict is a way of life, but until a party displays that they can be empathetic and responsible to those they disagree with, endeavor to negate their access to those things which are irreplaceable to you. This includes your children. Family members who choose hate over love have no right to young, susceptible minds. When they are completely wiling to disregard, vilify and act uncivilly to other people for unjustified reasons - why should they be given access to your most sacred relationships?  Bad mentoring begins at home: do not tolerate intolerant people around your kids... any more than you would tolerate rabid dogs. Each lacks empathy, and empathy is one of the most rewarding values you can promote with your child. 
7. Take responsibility for your emotions. Keep your mouth shut about how you feel, and be diligent to not project those feelings upon others. In any conflict, stick only to the facts. They are the language of Truth... anything else is subjective bullshit that only complicates matters.

And lastly - 

      8. .... bullshit doesn't matter.  Let it go. 

The road to Forgiveness is wide, but it's path is difficult to follow and slippery to tread if you're carrying around a trunk full of junk.  Immature personalities can't let the small stuff go. They are compelled to hold on to nasty feelings even when someone is reaching out to them from across the aisle. 

Forgiveness is one of the highest demonstrations of our human capacity. Rather you're being Christ-like, walking with Buddha, trying to attain inner-peace or just being cool, do the right thing -- Reach Up. 

What matters is that Where Possible, create a better condition.  

When possible, help, guide, fortify and illuminate.  At all times – think things through.

And never EVER apologize for Love!  

It is your responsibility to determine how you wish to interact with every other living being, in any walk of life. 

People that love you want to see you happy with your life choices; people that love you through their agenda can't keep it together the moment you challenge their belief that they know what's best for you. If kindness, understanding, empathy and enrichment are your preferred method  - you may be met with derision, but you'll persevere; anger cannot break the heart that love compels.

I've always been a hot-headed Aries kid, so these principles... they are a work-in-progress for me. 

But I'm walking that path now. 

Still human, fallible and searching, but I'm doing my best to be more responsible with myself.

- C. D.

In a controversy, the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. - Buddha

I fear no contemplative man who walks in the openness of a space with others. It is the man who hides away and writes his own silly dogma in a cave that society must fear. The notion that the more I pray the more I understand must cease - the spirit path is one of an infant's walk; awkward n' falling, but living. Stay babies under the great spirit and remain humble! The adult mind ruins peace always and religion sadly appeals to the adult, mind not the child in us.   - Chris Laro

We can still play together.... just means you build the moat.

the.angriest.dog.in.the.world.